“Is this Postpartum Depression?” Recognizing Key Differences Between Baby Blues and Something More
A New York Maternal Mental Health Therapist provides insight into the importance of determining when to seek support from a specialist.
You’re looking down at your baby - now a few months old - snuggled peacefully in your arms, and you can’t seem to shake the thought that you should be feeling “better” by now.
After all, this is everything you’ve ever wanted. For as long as you could remember, you knew you would be a mother. You found the perfect partner, started a life together, and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, you would bring children into this world.
Your baby coos and breathes you in - and while you know you are their home and their sense of peace - you find that motherhood for you is anything but bliss. You knew about the baby blues and expected that after a few weeks of transitioning into this new role, you would feel settled and confident. But that confidence never came.
You wake everyday grateful for this tiny baby and you love them with all your heart but at the start of each day, you feel it…
that ache in your chest. The tightening in your gut that tells you it will be just like yesterday and all the days before. You will feel unstructured, sad, exhausted beyond words. You know that something is off - and maybe it’s time to consider that this is more than just baby blues.
Defining “Baby Blues”
“Baby blues” refers to the brief period of postpartum, immediately following birth in which mothers experience emotional dysregulation caused mostly by the hormonal adjustments.
Throughout pregnancy, hormones including hCG, Progesterone, Estrogen, Relaxin, Oxytocin, Prolactin, and Cortisol are shifting rapidly from one trimester to the next. By the onset of birth, a mother will have experienced more hormonal changes within a 40-42 week period than she will at any other time in her life, with levels of progesterone and estrogen rising to hundreds of times their typical levels and dropping by approximately 90% within hours to days of delivery. Neither the menstrual cycle or the onset of menopause come close in comparison to the hormonal adjustments throughout pregnancy and childbirth. In fact, the rate and speed of those shifts pail in comparison.
Expectedly, a person who has just given birth will likely experience drastic mood changes throughout the days and weeks following birth. Between the influx of Oxytocin (also known as the “love hormone”) and the rapid decline of Progesterone and Estrogen, a myriad of emotions is to be expected.
For many mothers, this can look like an outpouring of love and gushing over their new infant one moment - to feeling completely depleted and like a shell of themselves the next.
It takes time for these levels to regulate and in a typical situation, (by that I mean a healthy and uneventful pregnancy and a smooth and well-executed delivery) these mood changes tend to wax and wane for a few weeks until eventually, a steady baseline of emotional regulation is reached.
Baby blues are an expected outcome for approximately 2 weeks following birth, though this number varies.
But what happens when months have gone by and you are still experiencing significant shifts in mood or inability to control your emotions?
Identifying Postpartum Depression
So… it’s been a few months and you are wondering why you are snapping at your partner, feel disconnected from your baby or from motherhood as your new identity, or maybe you just noticed that you still cannot make it through a day without crying. What now?
Well, it’s very likely you may be experiencing symptoms of Postpartum Depression (PPD) or another Postpartum Mood Disorder (PPMD.)
Postpartum Depression affects approximately 1 in 7 mothers in the US - and I think it’s a safe bet that those numbers are inaccurate, as they’re based on reported cases, though many mothers claim that they denied struggling with mood dysregulation at their follow-up appointments.
Here are the symptoms to watch for:
frequent crying
depressed mood or emptiness
hopelessness
extreme overwhelm
irritability
loss of interest
debilitating exhaustion not caused by sleep disturbances expected with a newborn
feelings of worthlessness/guilt
appetite changes
thoughts of suicide or self-harm
Some other symptoms commonly reported include: intrusive thoughts, excessive worry, rage, difficulty bonding, and isolation from support system
I think it’s Postpartum Depression. What do I do?
First, ensure your safety and the safety of your baby.
If you are feeling suicidal or are having thoughts of harming yourself or your child, call 911 immediately and request medical assistance.
If you do not believe that there is a threat to the safety of your child or yourself, your next step is to inform your partner or support person (aka a trusted friend or family member)
Getting support from someone who cares for you is an immediate response to your outcry. Your partner will be able to relieve you of some of the overwhelm while you regulate yourself and take breaks as needed.
Next, you will want to contact a specialist.
When seeking treatment for specific perinatal and postpartum mood disorders, you will want to guarantee that your provider is well-informed and has experience with the exact concerns you are seeking help for.
Work with your provider to decide if medication may be an option for you and seek a Psychiatrist if you decide that it is.
Look into community resources, such as motherhood support groups, non-profit organizations that prioritize maternal mental health, and other resources that may be useful for someone in your position.
You would be surprised at the amount of mothers who have experienced exactly what you have, and community support is one of the best ways to co-regulate.
If you feel ready to speak to someone…
Most importantly, you need to know that you are not a “bad mom.” Motherhood is the biggest transition you will experience in your lifetime. Everything in your world has shifted, and your responsibilities have never felt this demanding. This is not your fault.
Postpartum Mood Dysregulation is extremely common and treatable.
Get the support you and your baby deserve and get back to feeling like yourself, again, so that you can enjoy these moments instead of wishing them away.